


Just Like Heaven

by a_grumpy_kitty



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, First Kiss, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Sharing a Bed, but pretty mild, other losers are mentioned but im not gonna tag them, they’re like 16 or 17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-23 22:29:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21088835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_grumpy_kitty/pseuds/a_grumpy_kitty
Summary: “ Show me, show me, show me how you do that trickThe one that makes me scream she saidThe one that makes me laugh she saidThrew her arms around my neckShow me how you do it and I'll promise youI'll promise that I'll run away with you, I'll run away with you”In which Eddie yearns, and Richie gets close then pulls a disappearing act





	Just Like Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Song fic based off of Just Like Heaven by the cure!

“Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick  
The one that makes me scream she said  
The one that makes me laugh she said  
Threw her arms around my neck  
Show me how you do it and I'll promise you  
I'll promise that I'll run away with you, I'll run away with you”

June

Eddie’s quiet sobs had finally started to subside and morph into what he may have called laughter, if it was anyone other than Richie making him do it. He hadn’t meant to end up Richie's house that evening but when he ran out of his own a few hours earlier his feet took him there before his brain had a chance to agree. So here he was, still curled up like some kind of frightened animal, on the floor next to Richies bed. Richie himself was also on the floor, laying on his back next to Eddie with his spindly legs kicked up on the bed. He made some kind of obnoxious squawking noise and pulled Eddie out of his thoughts. Eddie jumped at the sudden loud noise and shot his friend an annoyed look.  
“What the hell was that?”  
“Bringing ya back down ta earth, Cap’n. Can’t have ya getting lost in that head o’ yers.” Richie responded in an unidentified accent. Eddie just rolled his eyes and a small smile tugged on his lips from the horrible accent.  
“You wanna talk about it yet?” Richie dropped his accent and swung his legs down from against his bed. He twisted himself around and sat next to Eddie again, shoulder to shoulder this time.  
“I dunno. Not much to talk about i guess. It was the same as it always is.” Eddie pulled his legs tighter to his chest.  
“Was it? Cause you don’t always show up at my house having a panic attack way past dark.” Eddie could feel Richie turn to look at him.  
“It was. Sorta.” Eddie whispered the last word. “She started talking about how I was abandoning her, and that I couldn't leave her alone and who would take care of me if she wasn’t there. I know it’s all the stuff she usually says but I also know she’s been taking my college applications out of the mailbox and throwing them away before they can get sent out.” He could feel tears beginning to fill his eyes again but he tried to blink them away. Richie said nothing, just scooted himself a little closer into Eddies side, and let the smaller boy rest his head on his shoulder.  
“Wanna know a secret Eds?”  
“If you say you fucked my mother i’ll kill you, I swear to god Rich, i’ll kill you.”  
“Of course that’s not what I was gonna say, Spaghetti, i said a SECRET. Everyone knows i fucked your mom.”  
Eddie groaned loudly and sat up, taking  
his head off Richies shoulder and shoved the other boy lightly.  
“Oh my god, fuck you dude.”  
“I don’t think your mom would be too happy about fucking the same man as her son.” Richie grinned stupidly as Eddie scrunched up his face even further and shoved him a second time.  
“Beep fucking beep, Richie.” Eddie stood up grumbling and began re-packing his fanny pack. He had shoved his anxiety meds and his inhaler (He knew he didn’t need it, but the knowledge that he had it just in case comforted him in some odd way) back in, when he felt a large hand on the side of his arm.  
“C’mon Eds, I’m sorry. Its like 11 o’clock. Just stay the night, huh? I can even have my mom call yours to let her know so you don’t have to.”  
Eddie sighed and put his fanny pack back down on the desk.  
Eddie sighed and put down his pack. “Don't call me that. No more your mom jokes or i’ll fucking smother you while you sleep.”  
Richie smiled wide and left the room to tell his mom and let Eddie change into some pajamas. He picked out an old shirt of Richies and some sweatpants. By the time Richie came back into the room, Eddie had already changed and slipped himself into bed. He would never, ever admit it out loud, but he had always loved sleeping in Richies bed. Something about it not being his own bed felt like a direct rebellion against his mother, sleeping in sheets that didn't get sterilized every three days and had a boy who didn't always shower before bed wrapped up in them felt like a big ‘fuck you’. And if his favorite part was just having Richie next to him, well then that was no ones business but his own. 

Eddie was nearly asleep when Richie spoke again. The sudden voice had startled Eddie, and he was ready to tell his friend to shut it, but something in Richies voice was quiet and sincere.  
“Eds?” Richies voice quietly crept out in the dark of his room. Eddie hummed a response and he heard Richie shift in bed so he was on his side, looking right at Eddie.  
“Earlier. The secret I was gonna tell you. The real one.”  
“What about it?”  
“I just wanted to tell you. When we were kids, when we figured out your mom was pumping you full of fake pills, i used to think about putting you in my bike basket and running away. Just getting you the hell out of here.” Richies voice shook a bit as he spoke, like he was scared of his own words. Tears filled Eddies eyes for the third time that night and he exhaled wetly, nearly crying but not quite.  
“I’d have gone with you. I’d still go. I’d run away with you, Rich.” The truth in his words were heavy and real. He’d run away with Richie, he’d follow him anywhere. He waited for Richies response, but instead a hand reached out and locked fingers with his own. The action spoke much louder than anything either of them could say. They fell asleep with warm palms pressed together. 

“Spinning on that dizzy edge  
Kissed her face and kissed her head  
Dreamed of all the different ways, I had to make her glow  
Why are you so far away she said  
Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?  
That I'm in love with you?”

August  
When Eddie woke up, he could still feel the press of lips on his and the heat of a large palm on his hip. He had been dreaming of Richie for weeks now. It wasn't exactly unusual, Eddie had dreamed of Richie for years, but recently it seemed as if every night was a dream of soft kisses and whispers of i love you. Eddie thought it may be due to the fact that Richie had become increasingly distant lately. Sure, they still saw each other when the losers all hung out but Richie almost never asked to hang out with Eddie alone anymore. There was a time when they were inseparable, always richieandeddie but now it felt more like Richie and Eddie. Maybe he was dreaming of Richie so often to compensate for the absence of his presence in Eddies waking life.  
It was mid-August when Eddie finally decided he’d had enough of Richies distancing act. The losers had been swimming at the quarry earlier in the day, the first time in a while and Eddie had been so excited. When they were much younger, Eddie and Richie would spend hours swimming, wrestling each other under the water, sitting on the others shoulders to chicken fight with the rest of their friends. Today though, Richie wouldn't even touch Eddie. He had barely even looked at him. So now Eddie was standing outside of Richies window, tossing pebbles at the glass pane waiting for his friend to open up.  
“Eddie? What the fuck are you doing?” Richie said, finally opening the window and sticking his head out.  
“I need to talk to you, asshole. Now move, let me in.” Eddie spoke, scrambling up the tree and maneuvering himself inside. Once he was in, he marched himself over and sat squarely in the middle of Richies bed, arms crossed and nose scrunched up. Richie barely had time to sit himself down before Eddie began laying into him.  
“What the fuck is your problem? Everything was fucking fine and then what? You just start hating me? Did i do something to you? Is it my fault? Did-“ Eddie had begun rambling, a bad nervous habit of his.  
“Woah, woah, woah, Eds chill out for a sec would you? I have no clue what youre talking about dude.”  
“That's bullshit Richie! You know exactly! You’re fucking avoiding me and i have no clue why! We barely hangout anymore, hell today you wouldn’t even look at me!” Eddie could feel the tears beginning to well up in his eyes, threatening to spill over. He could never expect Richie to understand why this was hurting him so bad. It had taken a long time for Eddie to realize that he was in love with Richie, and now with Richie feeling so far away it felt like a hole was ripped into his chest.  
“I just. I’m sorry Eddie. I didn’t mean to upset you, I swear. It’s not you, I promise it isn’t.” Richie hung his head as he spoke, looking at anything but his friend.  
“Then talk to me! I’m here for you, you know that right? I would never judge anything you had to say. Just please, tell me what’s going on.You don’t have to go through this alone. I miss you, Rich.” Eddie reached out a hand and placed it on Richies knee. When their skin made contact, something in Richies face shifted. Eddie would almost call the look mournful, but the look was quickly gone as the other boy stood up and moved across the room.  
“There’s nothing to talk about! Everything is fine, ok? Just drop it Eds. Look, I have homework and shit to do, so you should probably just go home. Don’t forget to give Ms K a kiss for me, huh?” Richies half attempt at a joke fell flat, sounding forced and uncomfortable like he was trying to make things feel normal when they were currently anything but. Something was obviously wrong and Eddie couldn’t figure out what. He wanted to plead with Richie, beg for answers but he knew better than to push. He just mumbled a half-hearted goodbye as he climbed back out of the window and down the tree.  
That night, instead of dreaming of kisses and love, Eddie dreamed of Richies absence. His dream self searching through empty houses and streets, calling for Richie, but he was too far away to hear. Eddie woke up shaking, wishing things were different, that he could have woken up with Richie next to him for comfort. Something inside Eddies heart tugged, and Eddie wished Richie was there, that he could just scream how in love with the other boy he was. Scream it until his friend understood he didn’t have to be on his own. But Richie finding out would just lead to him pushing himself further away from Eddie, instead of pulling himself closer like Eddie desperately wanted. He would help Richie, he just wasn’t sure how yet. 

“You, soft and only, you lost and lonely  
You, strange as angels  
Dancing in the deepest oceans  
Twisting in the water  
You're just like a dream  
You're just like a dream”

September  
The start of school did nothing but make is easier for Richie to avoid Eddie. They only shared one class, and Richie made sure his desk wasn’t around Eddie’s. Eddie missed him with an ache so deep, just looking at him now was a pain unlike Eddie had ever felt before. The past few weeks had been worse for Richie, he had begun distancing himself from the other losers, not just Eddie. Something was so wrong, and it was killing Eddie that his friend wouldn’t let him in to help.  
It was just past midnight when Eddie woke up to a soft tapping against his window. Pulling himself out of bed, he looked out to see Richie, shivering and pale in the moonlight. Eddies brow wrinkled in confusion. It had been weeks since they had had any real conversation, there was no reason Eddie could think of for Richie to be showing up in the middle of the night unless something was really truly bad. Without a word, Eddie opened his window and pushed out the screen to let his friend climb through. When he finally got a good look at the other boys face, he could see tears streaming down his face and the shivering wasn’t just from the cold, they were silent sobs. Richie dropped to the floor, curling in on himself as his body shook. Eddie immediately dropped himself next to his friend, arms curling around the other boys body. He shushed him quietly, whispering soft comforts into the others ear. Neither of them spoke until the sobs finally stopped and Richies tears had almost dried.  
“Rich, what's going on? Fucking talk to me,please, you’re scaring me.” Eddie still had his arms wrapped around Richie and he tightened his grip as he spoke, almost like he was worried Richie would disappear if he let go.  
“I’m sorry, Eds, i'm so sorry. Don’t hate me, I'm sorry.” Richies voice was watery and thick, breaking at the end of his sentence.  
“I won’t hate you, i could never hate you. I just want to help you, I just need to know what’s wrong. Let me help you, you don't have to go through this alone.”  
“Eddie. I’m. Eddie, I’m gay.” The words seemed stuck in his throat, like he had to pull them out to speak them. As he spoke, he began to sob again, shaking harder than before.  
“Oh Rich. Richie.” Eddie wasn’t sure what to say. Out of all the possible scenarios Eddie had run through his head of what could be wrong, this wasn’t on the list. He let Richie cry for a long time, rubbing a soothing hand up and down his back, whispering that it was ok, Eddie didn’t hate him over and over. It was a long time before either of them spoke again, but it was Richie who broke the silence first.  
“I’m so sorry Eds. Im so sorry.” Richie was still pressed into Eddie, his head against Eddies chest and his arms around his middle.  
“You don’t have to apologize. I understand. You aren't alone. You don’t have to be afraid anymore, Rich. I’m here.”  
“I’ve been so lost, and so scared and I thought if I stayed away from you it would go away but it didn’t. It just made everything worse. It felt like I was drowning. I don't want you to hate me, but I can't keep pretending and lying and hiding. I love you, Eds. I love you so goddamn much its like my heart is breaking every time I look at you. I understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore, but I just needed you to know. I’m sorry.” Richie sat up now, facing Eddie. Thousands of thoughts were running through Eddies mind at 100 miles an hour and before he could land on one to say, he was pushing himself forward and connecting his lips to Richies with such force he almost knocked them both over. When they parted, they both had watery eyes and a dopey grin plastered on their faces.  
“I love you too, dumbass.”


End file.
